Where am I? Who am I?

This morning I awoke to an astonishing realization. This was not the realization that I am at college hundreds of miles from home and my entire life is different henceforth; I figured that out last week. No, this realization was far more earth-shattering: I don’t trust myself enough to figure out what day it is, let alone what my plans are for the next ninety-six years. I was fine until I was on my way to church (yay for being a two-minute walk away from church!) and, not seeing very many other people, suddenly wondered what day it was. Was it Friday? Wasn’t yesterday Friday? What if I slept through Saturday? Wait, Boris (my roommate; pseudonymed, of course) thought it was Saturday too! But what if we both slept through the entire day? What if someone snuck sleeping pills into our water bottles or something?

It was at this point that I saw people dressed up for church, so I decided to stop worrying about what day it was and start worrying about why all of these people were walking around outside instead of being in church. What time was it? Was my watch correct? It looked like it said 10:05. Was I reading it wrong? Had I lost my ability to read anything correctly? Would this affect my grades?

Oh, yes. These people are leaving early church. It’s easy to tell because nearly everyone who goes to early church is, shall we say, “experienced”. The second service is where all the college students go (either because the music is better or because they get to sleep in; maybe both).

So, in summary, I seem to have some sort of condition in the morning that dissociates me from reality. This explains why I like my 8:30 Anatomy and Physiology class so much. Go figure!

(Haha! I bet you thought this post was going to be philosophical or something.)