The Lollipop Incident, and Other Drama

Food Science is a really cool class. We get to cook! Today, our teacher said that our topic was sugar, which meant that we would be making candy and ice cream. I immediately went into hyperactive mode and started scribbling all over my class handout.

Canada shout-out! Yes, it looks like a tulip. Be grateful for what you get.

 Also, one that wouldn't fit in a picture: "Splenda: It's made from sugar, so it kills you like sugar! :D"

No, I have no idea why I, on the same page, denounced sugar and declared candy an essential part of the diet. I was too busy looking forward to making ice cream.

BUT, before I could eat ice cream, my lab partner and I had to make chocolate fudge. Fudge sounds kind of daunting, but it can't be that hard, right? WRONG. Fudge requires years of practice (although some say that fudge skills are solely hereditary) in a small French chocolaterie in Lozère. No matter what your cookbook says, you cannot just follow the simple directions and actually expect to end up with fudge.

We mixed the ingredients in a saucepan and stirred it while it came to a boil. So good, so far. Then once it was boiling we waited for it to reach the proper temperature. Then we took it off the burner, added the butter and vanilla extract, and waited for it to cool to the proper temperature. Then we stirred it and... wait, no we didn't. It was hard as a rock. I stood there stabbing the chocolate rock with a spoon while my partner went to talk to the teacher. For a moment I had a vision of failing the lab and being sent home in shame. Fortunately, the teacher just told us to reheat it until it melted and then put it in the pan to cool. Of course, it didn't turn into fudge (once it crystallizes, you never have another chance to fudgify it), but everyone liked it, and we didn't fail. Which was good, since my partner had been cooking for 30 years and who knows what would have happened if she had failed; her family would probably never let her cook again, just in case everything she made turned into invincible lumps. So, it ended all right (labs are notorious for going wrong anyway, right?).

The lollipop incident was the second emergency of the class. While we had been making "fudge", other groups had been making other candies and ice creams, including lollipops, mints, caramels, and fondant (which didn't turn out quite right either...). We had to try one of each of the different projects and write a haiku about it on our lab sheet (at least, I assume we were supposed to write haikus and not couplets or something). I innocently picked up an orange-colored lollipop that tasted like watermelon.

 

 My teeth! My poor teeth! I was probably going to have the incredibly sticky lollipop surgically removed or something. After calming down and half-convincing myself that I would survive, I went off to a corner and tried to remove the sticky mass from my mouth using my fingers, trying not to break any teeth. Oh, and trying not to embarrass myself (well, we can't win everything, can we?). I eventually freed my mouth and tried to retain my sense of dignity.

At least the lollipop tasted good.