Okay then

I just had to share this:

Talk-show host Oprah Winfrey today celebrated the opening of her first church and the founding of her new religion, titled O, The Oprah Religion.  The multi-tasking Oprah will serve as pontiff and deity for both.“Expanding on Her enormously successful enterprises in television, film, the web, and Her magazine, Oprah Winfrey brings Her positive, motivational spirit to one of the most highly anticipated new religions since Scientology,” explained spokesperson and new Archbishop for the church, Gayle King, in a press conference in Chicago today.
“O, The Oprah Religion gives confident, smart women the tools they need to explore and reach for their dreams, to express their individual style, and to make choices that will lead to a happier and more fulfilling afterlife.”
“In addition, we’ve eliminated the regressive prohibitions - such as those against shrimp, clothing made of mixed fibers, and premarital sex - that older, outmoded religions still cling to, but which no longer fit in with the lifestyles of their congregations.  In fact, Oprah loves to share a shrimp cocktail with her live-in life partner while wearing stretch-wool slacks!  Now, with O, The Oprah Religion, you can do the same, and without the threat of everlasting damnation!”

More: http://davismcdavis.xanga.com/197822930/oprah-winfrey-opens-church-founds-religion/

The funniest part, though, is the comment section.

There won't be any shortage of converts to 'O'! Wasn't it P T Barnum who famously said that every minute a sucker is born? And there are suckers aplenty in Uncle Sam's country!

 Yes. Yes there are.

I am going to miss you all...

Why will I miss you? Because this is some sort of April Fools' Day prank and I'm going to tell you that I'm taking a hiatus from the internet to focus more on the real world? Don't be ridiculous. Soon there will be no real world anymore, because the earth is going to be destroyed by an asteroid. It will be here in four days. It was nice knowing you all.

April Fools! (Although, if the world is destroyed by an asteroid in four days, do not blame me.) I love April Fools' Day. I don't know why. It's just fun seeing what Google and the gang do every year to "fool" people (and also fun, though a bit sad, to see how many people actually fall for such jokes as "Gmail Motion"). Even my classes had some April Fools' pranks today. It's just a fun day to be silly.

Some people, however, do not understand the purpose of this sacred day. They seem to think that April Fools' Day is about calling out pranksters.

"BREAKING NEWS! Herds of giant fish stampeding Botswana!"
commenter1: "lol wut is dis fer realz?"
commenter2: "April Fools! Haha! You are so gullible!"

NO.

It is supposed to go like this:

"BREAKING NEWS! Herds of giant fish stampeding Botswana!"
commenter1: "lol wut is dis fer realz?"
commenter2: "OMG! We're all going to die!!!!!!!"

The official April Fools' Rules dictate that if a witness to an April Fools' Day hoax such as this realizes that it is obviously an April Fools' Day joke, then they are bound by international law (which is sadly unenforced, much like the law against naming continents after famous cartographers) to play along with the joke. It's only common sense! Once you tell the gullible masses the obvious truth, it is no longer any fun. The only fun thing is being smug about having a healthy skepticism, which fades quite quickly because that's a pretty average ability. But if you play along, you might actually convince someone that giant fish are indeed invading Botswana, or that you can actually control the internet with your mind. And then you'll have a million people staring at their monitors trying to search Google for "Helvetica" telepathically.

I love April Fools' Day. If the earth is not destroyed by an asteroid, I'm looking forward to next year's pranks. Now, if only I can convince my school to say that Dining Services is being bought out by McDonalds.